Road to Recovery

I know, it's crazy! I'm posting more than twice this year! This is our family journal. This is a place for us to share and remember. Although I like sharing all the good and exciting, sometimes it's important to share the hard too. We can appreciate the struggle, see the blessings, and discover a lot about ourselves in the struggle. To say that the last few  months have not been a struggle would be a little bit of an understatement. I'm just going to tell a little about my personality for perspective. I am a doer. On my college soccer team, our team shirts read "Go Big! or Go Home!" And, that has kind of been how I have done life. I'm up for adventure and challenge. If I'm going to be here, I might as well get some experience, right? And, if other people can do hard things, what makes me different enough not to? I don't mean that I take the hard road for the sake of taking it. Or, that I don't learn from other's experiences and try to make all the mistakes, but I don't back down easily to challenges. And, let's face it...life is a challenge. I've always had this kind of attitude. Things need to get done, so I might as well do them. With that being said, I am learning that I can not do everything. I shouldn't do everything. I am not meant to do everything. And that is okay. So, back to challenges of life. With the move approaching, baby getting ready to come, and all the craziness that comes from having a house full of relatively small children that are need a lot of me, I was like, "It's gonna be hard. It's gonna get crazy. It's gonna be an adventure." I'm sure my optimism, positivity, or mere stubbornness can surely drive Paul crazy, but I am his sunshine, and he is my rock. So, four days after Emerson was born, the movers came. They packed, loaded, and got us out of there. We said goodbye to our amazing friends, doctors, and house. We were on our way to Texas with a packed 12 passenger van! We decided to take a little slower than we normally road trip. We usually bust out the 18 hour drive to Oklahoma in one fell swoop. But, we had time and we were going to enjoy this adventure a little bit. When we got to McKinney, we had a day before closing. We kind of explored the area with the kids. They went to the pool. We grew weary of 700 sqft hotel rooms! We closed on the house and unloaded the van. Our things were scheduled to arrive that Saturday, but unfortunately would not be arriving until the following Thursday. We had no beds, no pillows, and no furniture. We did get the refrigerator delivered on Saturday. So we could have food! The kids were starting school on Wednesday, and we had to figure out all the registration stuff. They don't let you officially register for school here until you have closing documents and have promised your kidney. It was a little crazy! Luckily, Paul had taken his 3 weeks of parental leave during this time. Also, because our things hadn't arrived when anticipated, the vanline told us that our air mattresses, bedding, and other household essentials were on them! So, come and visit! We have some really nice air mattresses! Anyway, we were getting a little more settled. Since we moved into a home almost twice the size of our home in AZ, we needed a few furniture items. Costco and IKEA are 15 minutes away! Yay! Urgent Care is 5 minutes away too! Paul was moving some of the seats out of the big van so that we could pick up a couch at Costco. The new garage has a little lip in the pavement. He hit the lip, and the carseat came down on his ankle. I was feeding Emerson when I heard the not-so-calm "MOLLY!" As I came around the corner, I saw him on the tile, clutching his ankle, and lots of blood. I got him some paper towels. We told the kids to stay upstairs. I called the one person I had contact with in the ward, for which we are so grateful for the kindness we have experienced so far. Texans are friendly! Marissa came right away and watched the kids while I took Paul to Urgent Care for stitches. The house is officially ours after the blood sacrifice in the garage! He's fine. The movers came, unpacked, and left us to figure out where to put everything. We're still working on that, but it's coming along. School supply shopping was ridiculous! I'm not sure why we have to be so specific on folder color, but when everyone needs 3 yellow folders, 2 red folders, 3 blue folders, and 1 orange folder there are none of those colors available the night before school starts. So, amazon prime has become my best friend. Kids were in school. We were figuring out bus schedules, lunches, classes, and lockers (middle school....insert lame eyeroll). With school comes new germs! And, with moving comes new allergies! I don't know what combination, but everyone had a little bit of something. The babies had goopy eyes and snotty noses. The big kids had coughs and headaches. And then the mom, this one, got it. I thought it was just a cold or allergies. I was up with a nursing baby a lot. I was up making lunches pretty early. I was unpacking, organizing, situating, and figuring out all the stuff. But, I was determined to make this a grand adventure! Go Big! or Go Home! I started to get really stuffy and achy. My ear hurt. But, I thought it was just a cold. I was going to get better. Viruses just run their course. Drink lots of fluids. Eat my vegetables. Take a shower. I'd feel better. Friday before Labor Day, I was in so much pain. I was taking ibuprofen trying to manage the pain, especially at night. I woke up to feed Emerson, and my ear didn't hurt anymore, but there was drainage. I told Paul that I thought my ear drum ruptured. It would heal, but that it was starting to hurt again. I decided that if it didn't get feeling better by Monday (Labor Day--My Birthday), I would go to Urgent Care. Monday came. I was in Urgent Care right as it opened. They checked me out. Felt so bad that I was there on my birthday. Told me I had an ear infection. Got me some antibiotics. And, off I went. I don't take medicine very often. There are too many side effects with my heart problems, and I'm usually pregnant or nursing which also limits what I can take. I like to believe that our bodies can do a lot of the healing when we are healthy. Antibiotics usually work really fast for me. Within 48 hours, I feel so much better. Not this time. Pain, stuffiness, a lot of pain. My ear wasn't getting better, and I just couldn't do it. On Wednesday morning, I felt my cheek twitch a little as I was getting up. For some reason, which I totally believe was divine, I remembered a post a friend of mine made a few years ago about Bell's Palsy. I immediately started googling all about it. I told Paul that I was worried that I might be getting it because of this dang infection. He told me not to stress. Everything was going to be okay. Sunday came around and I was still struggling. I asked Paul's brother-in-law who's a PA at an Urgent Care in Tulsa what he thought. I was willing to go back in and figure this out. He was going to call a steroid in for me to get the swelling down and hopefully help the issue. I was getting ready for Church when I noticed that I could wink. I do not normally wink. I mean seriously. Paul can wink with both eyes. He teases me when I try because I cannot do it. But, I came out and showed him that I could wink. We decided to go to Church, and then figure out what needed to be done. I was out in the hall after feeding Emerson with the three younger girls talking to somebody when I felt my smile not smiling the way it should. After sacrament meeting, we had a linger-longer. I found Paul and told him I needed to go. The left side of my face wasn't moving. We let the kids eat, and then headed home. We took Emerson with us to Urgent Care. Since I had just been there on Monday, they got me in really quick. He looked at me and advised with an ENT who sent us straight to the ER. After getting checked out there, the ER doctor came back with the diagnosis of either Bell's Palsy or Ramsay Hunt Syndrome--All kind of scary stuff. We had a course of action of prednisone, antiviral, and continued antibiotics, and an appointment with an ENT the next week. The doctor said that we probably caught it early. He expected a full recovery. We were hopeful, but my sunshine was starting to cloud. I had to tape my eye shut at night. My ear hurt. My body was falling apart. I was a hot mess. I cried, a lot. I had never taken prednisone, and was really nervous about side effects. Things started to get better. Paul came with me to my ENT appointment. We were able to leave Adelaide and Isobel with our new, wonderful Relief Society President, Lara. She is wonderful! The ENT doctor, Dr. Dang listened to how things happened and where we were at. She did a scope, hearing test, and exam. She kept telling us that she was going to get me all fixed up, everything was going to be fine, and I'd fully recover. It was almost like she was trying to convince herself, too ;) We learned that it is neither Bell's Palsy or Ramsay Hunt Syndrome. It is a very bad infection. The fluid and inflammation was so bad that it was irritating the facial nerve that runs close to the eustachian tube. So, we were to continue with the prednisone to help with the inflammation (I'm currently tapering), start nasal spray with a steroid, keep the oral antibiotic (I had like two days left), and start an antibiotic/steroid ear drop. While we were in the office, she put a tube in my ear drum to drain the fluid and get me on the road to healing. That was not very comfortable. I'm glad they put little people under when they do that. She said the numbing part was the worst. No. No, it is not. Having them actually puncture your eardrum and put a tube in it is the worst. It's probably a good thing I stopped nursing Emerson and gave him to Paul during the procedure. I'm a week out from the appointment, with a follow-up next week. I'm doing a lot better. My face is coming back. I'm still in glasses rather than contacts just to keep my eyes moist. My ear is a little stuffy, but getting much better. We're recovering, and learning. I really feel like I may have pushed my abilities a little too far. Rest is important! Sleep is wonderful! And, sometimes it's important to ask for help. Paul is amazing and wonderful! I have wonderful kids that are capable of a lot more than I give them credit for. Mom doesn't need to do everything. And, if it's not done the same way I do it, but it still gets done, it's okay. I'm still learning to not just jump in and get things done when I should really let them do things. I'm so grateful for prayers that were said on my behalf! I sure felt them! I'm grateful for Priesthood blessings! I am grateful for an eternal perspective and inspiration. It could have been worse, and it's going to get better. And, now I know that I need to take care of myself a little bit more. Eight babies in 11 years is a little much. But, I wouldn't ask for anything different. So, there may be times where I'm just going to let Adelaide watch Bubble Guppies while Isobel is taking a nap, and I'm going to lay down with Emerson and enjoy his babyness. He's the sweetest! He is smiling and cooing. He talks to me when everything in the house is quiet, like he's just been observing the happenings and is giving me his two cents. Things are good. And, they're going to get better. My follow-up is next week. With each day, there's more movement in my face. My smile isn't so "wonky". My eyebrows lift. I can twitch my nose. I'm starting to taste sweet more. My eye isn't dry. My ear is becoming less clogged. It has been quite an adventure!